Perry, FL to Sopchoppy, FL
Total Miles: 2055
Broke 2000 miles today!!!
Last night around 1:00 AM I was woken up from a sound sleep to the tiniest splash of water hitting my face though the mesh of my tent. Google had warned me that there was a 15% chance of rain but I ignored it and decided to not put my rainfly on. Of all the nights I’ve spent camping I think I’ve maybe had to put it on a total of 3 times. It gets so humid at night that when I put it on my tent turns into a miserable sauna so I’d rather sacrifice a bit of privacy in order to sleep a little more comfortably. Anyways, so as soon I felt that little drop of rain I scrambled out of my tent in only my underwear, put it on real quick and hopped back inside. Not even 2 minutes later the sky opened up and that 15% chance of rain turned into a 100% chance of torrential downpour. It was very relaxing and lulled me right back to sleep.
I didn’t feel like stopping and taking a lot of pictures today. You’ll see why… Thanks to last nights rain I woke up this morning to a damp, cool and miserably humid morning. Thanks, Florida! I packed up my stuff and hit the road. Yesterday when coming in I had noticed the gas station adjacent to the campground had a sign that said “Next Gas Station 20 Miles” so I decided to pop in there and grab an extra bottle of water and get some breakfast. They had a kind of hot deli breakfast kitchen thing that had eggs, biscuits and gravy and other assorted breakfast items. I asked the girl serving for a double order of biscuits and gravy. She replied, “Are you sure? A single order is pretty big on it’s own.” Hahahaha, amateurs. I said, “Ok, better add a couple sausage links and some hash browns too.” For a second she thought I was joking but I guess she got the picture when I just stood there silently waiting. She wasn’t kidding, though, it was a monstrous amount of food. Needless to say I killed it in about 10 minutes. When I went to go throw the tray in the trash she looked at me funny and said, “I’m impressed.”
My belly full to bursting with delicious food I set out into the morning. When it’s cool and humid like this my shirt just gets soaked with sweat the first 15 minutes so I decided to ride without one. Maybe 10 miles down the road a couple bees start harassing me, I didn’t think anything of it, just kind of swatted them away. They were relentless, though, and one had landed on my leg. I didn’t freak out or anything just had a mild panic attack as I tried to swat it off without getting stung. They continued to swoop in and out around my helmet like little demon kamikaze pilots and while trying to shoo them away I looked behind me. Big mistake, James. There were like 10 or 15 of these fuckers just cruising along in my wake taking turns attacking me! I let out the most pathetic little scream and immediately kicked Forrest into high gear to try and outrun the little bastards. Turns out bees are really freaking fast.
The chase was on. I’m pumping as fast as my little legs can push trying to get away from this death squad. I had the brilliant idea to reach around and grab my shirt off the back of my bike and use it as a weapon of mass bee killing destruction. WHIP!!! PARRY!!! DIVE!!! SWERVE!!! I must have looked like some kind of deranged maniac swerving all over the road, whipping my shirt back and forth, trying to rain pain and destruction on these little bastards while at the same time trying to keep moving as fast as I could. The shirt didn’t seem to be working though so I readied my trusty dog blasting water cannon and let out a mighty stream of water in the general direction of the pursuers. Yeah, that didn’t work in the least bit. I could almost hear their little buzzing laughter at the mere idea that a little water was going to deter them. I’m starting to get pretty tired at this point and had decided to slow down and face them at a standstill but just as I was about to hit the breaks they broke off their attack and buzzed off. I seriously have no idea what the hell happened, they didn’t seem to be trying to sting me, only dive bomb me. Sigh. James – 0 Kamikaze Bees – 1
After my frightful encounter with the death squad I was really feeling like I needed a pickle. I stopped in at the next gas station to one but to my dismay they didn’t have dill. Only sweet and sour (seriously, who eats that crap!?) and hot and spicy. I tried my luck with the spicy one and it was surprisingly good. Pickle powered up I get back on the road. About 5 miles in I feel my legs starting to get sluggish and my arms starting to feel all jelly-like. I’ve come to recognize this feeling as my bodies way of telling me that it really needs some fuel. Like now. Or else. I stop in at another gas station a few miles up the road, buy some milk and make the biggest peanut butter and honey sandwich imaginable. I chugged a bit of the honey straight from the container just to be safe 🙂
After that it was smooth, easy sailing all the way to my campsite. I was really looking forward to jumping in the river when I got here as the website said there was swimming. When I asked the attendant where the swimming area was, though, she told me that the Health Department had closed it due to higher than normal bacteria levels. Ummmm, yeah no. Last thing I need is to get dysentery or something. So I’ll just relax and read a book all afternoon I guess. Stay tuned for the next edition of James and his Bike!