Day 23 – 65 Miles

Ft Pierce, FL to Lake Worth, FL

Before we get started with today lets rewind back to yesterday for a moment. I’m hanging out at my camp reading and get up to go pee in this outhouse that was nearby. No big deal. So when I get in there I see this giant spider just hanging out in the little urinal portion, so I do what any guy would do in this situation. I try to pee him down the drain. While I’m in the process of drowning this poor, defenseless spider I feel something heavy jump onto my shoulder then immediately jump onto the wall next to me. I didn’t even get a good look at it because my animal brain told me that it was a big, pissed off spider seeking revenge for his dead friend. Naturally I freak the [email protected]#$ out. I let out this pathetic yelp, step backwards towards the door and proceed to fall flat on my ass on the wet ground in front of the outhouse. I was still midstream when this all occurred but somehow avoided covering myself in a fountain of my own urine. When I got my shit together I slowly opened the door to get a better look at my attacker. It was a frog. A harmless little shit dwelling frog. It was the perfect ending to a crummy day.

A wild Spider Frog appears! Little bastard.

I awoke this morning at about 630 and it was eerily quiet outside. It took my sleep fogged mind a moment to register that the quiet meant there was no wind! I scrambled out of my tent, devoured my 2 remaining slices of pizza and broke my camp down in record time, eager to get on the road before mother nature changed her mind. It was amazing!!! Turtles sang, Lizards weeped, the sun was shining, I cast off the surly bonds that have been holding me back and set off into the cool, damp morning like a rocket ship! I killed the first 20 or so miles in a little over an hour and then stopped for a Mountain Dew break. I checked my phone to see how far to my destination and it said 13 miles. 13 miles? WTF?! I guess I can’t math because I definitely made an error in my mileage calculations last night when I selected that campsite. A little strategic Googling yielded a new campsite about 45 miles from my present location. Perfect. Time to make up for yesterdays low miles.

The wind had picked up a little during my next 25 mile leg but it was nothing compared to the last 4 days. I was able to keep a nice, steady 16 MPH pace with relative ease. I stopped at a gas station to whip myself up a nice lunch of PB and honey on bagels and, of course, a Mountain Dew. Anybody that knows me knows that I don’t really drink soda that often unless it’s in a mixed drink and even then very rarely but all this cycling just haves me craving that cold, sweet, Turtle colored goodness. Mmmmmm. I met a guy named Ted while I was sitting there eating, he’s a fellow bicyclist and was asking about my trip. Really cool guy and he gave me some tips for the road ahead, specifically that the next 20 miles would get pretty dicey on the road I was following. Thanks, friend!

Well Ted was definitely right about that. There was no shoulder to speak of and, even though there were two lanes going my direction, the drivers were extremely careless. More than once I had to duck in and scrape my wheels on the sidewalk to avoid some asshole squishing me. My rearview mirror is a literal lifesaver. It was madness. A little further up the road I spotted the holiest of holies, the thing that could brighten even the darkest of days: a taco truck! I pulled up and ordered 4 pork tacos and about a gallon of horchata and sat on the curb eating, glaring my hardest at all the jerks driving by. I checked Google Maps to see if there was a different route to my destination than this death trap of a road and you know what? There was. Literally one street up from was a nice, quiet residential street with a freaking bike path. These maps are going to be the death of me I swear.

This was across from the taco truck at the entrance to a cemetery. It says, “That which is so universal as death must be a blessing” It sounds kinda creepy. Thoughts?

So all in all it was a pretty great day of riding. I got to my campsite without getting smushed and didn’t have to pit myself against the forces of nature to get here. Weather tomorrow is looking good although tonight it says “Severe Thunderstorms” so we’ll see how my tent holds up to that. That’s all for now my faithful Disciples of the Holy Shell. Stay tuned for the next edition of James and his Bike.

My camp neighbors just hanging out by my tent.

4 Replies to “Day 23 – 65 Miles”

  1. I love the way you write it makes feel like I’m right there. Will say a pray again tonight for good weather.

  2. Jessica (sister) says: Reply

    I literally almost peed myself reading about the frog! I can picture this all playing out, I was trying to explain it to Kris what I was laughing about but I could not.
    I love you brother stay off those crazy roads if you can!

  3. OMG, you’re hilarious James. I agree with Jessica, I can totally picture all of that happening. So glad the weather was nice today! Also I meant to tell you, I accidentally ran over a lizard in my driveway the other day and found it dead and roasted from the sun.. yikes.. BUT maybe it’ll bring you some luck ?

  4. That has to be the cutest spider frog I have ever seen. It is the only spider frog I have ever seen. Stay safe out there Jimmy. Looking forward to tomorrow’s post.

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